Are your thoughts making your anxiety worse?

Anxiety. It's something we keep hearing about on social media, the news, and in daily conversations. We all can feel anxious at some point. It's a normal emotion: Anxiety is the biological response to stress. Life can be hard, and it's common to worry about grocery shopping, stress at work, or fear for the future. Could your own thoughts be making it worse? 

When we are very stressed, our brain believes we are in danger, and anxiety serves to keep us safe and alert, whether the attack is real or perceived. These days, physical threats should not be common occurrences. But our brain registers a strange look, a mean email, or snarky comments the same as a bear walking into our campsite: DANGER! There's an immediate physical response; rapid breathing, elevated blood pressure, perhaps a headache, or GI symptoms, and we feel heightened emotions. We call this "flooding". You're ready for fight (argue, conflict), flight (run away or avoid), or freeze (shut down). You struggle to think logically.  

Have you noticed that when you're anxious, you immediately think of the worst-case scenarios? Imagine you haven't heard from your college-aged kid in a few days, and they haven't replied to your many texts and calls. Your anxiety says they are either dead or in jail. Your anxious brain refuses to consider other possibilities. Maybe they are busy with school, doing exactly what they should be doing, and forgot to call you! Or, let's say you've had a few bad days at work, you're feeling extra stressed, and your boss calls you in for a surprise meeting. You believe you're in trouble, or about to get fired, right? Could there be another, better-case scenario?

Our minds send us "garbage" thoughts throughout the day. Most of the time, we're able to ignore them. But when we are stressed, it gets harder. It's common to have impulsive, irrational thoughts when anxious. You can learn how to challenge these thoughts and respond to your concerns and issues from a rational, logical, and calm mind. Here's how:

Pause and breathe: 

When you feel flooded, take a pause and a deep breath. Say to yourself, "I feel anxious". This helps define the emotion and makes the feeling less scary. Then focus on deep breathing for a minute. There are many helpful ideas for meditative deep breathing out there, like flower breathing, box breathing, yogic breathing, and more. The idea is to take a slow, deep inhale, hold your breath, and exhale deeply. As you exhale, think the words, "relax", "I am safe", "All is well", "This too shall pass", or another comforting mantra. 

Use temperature control:

To help you calm down, reach for something cold. Drink something cold. Take a cold shower. Holding ice cubes, or even placing them under your bare feet will distract your brain from its worries. Do this while deeply breathing. 

Exercise: 

Go for a walk, run up and down the stairs, or stamp your feet. Move your body to distract your mind and release pent-up energy.

Consider the best-case scenario:

Instead of ruminating about the worst possible things that could happen, force yourself to consider the absolute best things that could happen. Be silly. Be weird. Now that you have the 2 extremes, the truth is most likely somewhere in the middle. 

Turn to your support group:

 Reach out to friends and family to talk through your worries and get their perspective. 

Know when to reach out to a counselor:

 If anxiety is causing you distress and affecting your relationships, job, or well-being, it's time for additional support. Your therapist can help you understand the root causes of your anxiety and work with you to create personalized goals to help you manage the anxiety and get back to living a full life. 

Leslie McReynolds is a Licensed Professional Counselor-Associate, supervised by Dr. Lisa Grubbs, based in Flower Mound, TX. She specializes in helping people break unhelpful, unhealthy cycles of anxiety, trauma, and grief. Working with families, couples, and individuals ages 11 and up, Leslie uses nurturing, insightful, and practical approaches to help her clients heal, grow, and transform. She is currently accepting new clients. You can find her at Flower Mound Counseling, www.flomocounseling.com, or lesliemcreynoldscounseling.com